Your New Shape

I am in the forest
crying
watering the trees 
with the memories you left me

I had to pick up your things 
collect your coins

rocks with gold veins

and put them in a box

paintings and drawings 

thoughts you put on paper 

I collect

What do I do with it all?

What do I do without you?

I am stuck

holding every box

Stupid Is

Playing stupid isn’t a good look on you

play stupid long enough

you become it

and hearing how stupid you’ve let yourself become

to outrun feelings you lock in a cage

just makes you another stupid who does

Where I Hold You

I’m okay here

but this isn’t my dream 

so I’ll dream I have you

and to dream

means I feel you

so I’ll dream of you tonight 

Feelings

We put together a delicate thing 

and a delicate thing took it away

Alive to Love

What greatness I have learned 

from getting back up 

trying again

and leaning into love 

now I remember 

to catch myself

stand up for myself

lean on you 

lean on me

remember, this is greatness

wake up

and do it all over again

The Story

I am safe here

safe in this box

that I imagine are your hands

it’s in there I build 

a better person than you can believe. 

Before I Erupt

It’s okay to say I’m strong

even when all the pain
starts to swell up,
coming from
somewhere
     deep down,
     below,
     traveling through my throat
     so fast

     I might miss my chance to
     swallow another time
before it runs out my mouth,
before it burns a hole through my chest,
before I stop being soft,
because this time
I’ll get through the days
I’ve gone through the years.

Holding You in a Crowded Room

Gentle heart,
let me hold you.
Fingers through your hair
lips on your lips
let me hold you.

Soft hands,
let's build a home.
A place for us to run
rest where you rest
let's build a home.

My love, you move fire into light
you're the stars in my sky
I saw the universe in your eyes

and in a world full of people
I wanna hold you
hips on your hips
heart to your heart

skin to your skin
I have the world when I hold you

And if a dream is how I have you, I'll dream of you tonight.

The Breath of Silence

It’s much harder, to not say,

than it is, to say.

I Wanted to Know

And it’s alright

if your answer is no.

I’ve told myself
    I’m going to take
    as long as it takes—

and willfully, I work
to move on.

And willfully,
I hold on.

Red Light Devotion

I say here,  

under a new moon’s 

red light

     even if it’s to the ghost of you,  

     even if you never return,  

          even when I’m afraid.  

I’ll tell the world how we came to be,  

planting a foundation in love,  

     I believe you showed me  

a vision to become.  

Even if you never return.  

Plain as Can Be

My dear,

I think about every which way to put it

and as simple as I can be

I wanna tell you

my heart feels the call

to write new memories with you. 

In a Fire

  Beautiful woman

 made of ash 

and dust

carved in a fire

     I'm melting in your heart

witness to the graves you dug

     hear me as a whisper

     feel me as a roar

     you have me as a promise

i am here

i feel the embers

and my god, that's a promise

i'm walking with you

i'm here

Rain Can’t Wash me Away

Is it easy for you

to keep walking

to keep walking away

to do

to do for you

what you gotta do

so you and I 

you and I 

and I 

can lay 

this fantasy 

to rest. 

I stood still

I waited

I prayed 

and I gave my heart 

for you to see

 

and I waited 

and I walked away

and if you think

I’ll come back

another day

I won’t

 

and now it’s raining 

it’s pouring

and we won’t share 

a good morning

I Won’t Stop

I’m feeling you 

     I feel like it's you 

     I know 

          it’s you. 

It’s a feeling where the beat of my heart drops to my root 

     and with a slow breath 

          I can 

          control it 

softening my body 

softening your body, and another breath 

so I can talk to you 

          kiss you 

          touch you and

          hold you

So I can love every groove, 

     like the palms of your hands 

look to your eyes 

     and learn to breathe 

               for the first time 

     in front of you

          my divine

Quantum Construct

Mold me awake
old lover
with the brush of your hand
my body stands sturdy

     I am your earth to shape

Send me your waves
wise activator
with your glance and stare
the moon says we're ready

     You are the sea I breathe

Look to our star
my dreamer
with your tongue and sight
my bones rattle to your energy

     Quantum is the leap I take


Fractals and feats

soul whispers repeat
to withstand the fury of

everything we came to remember

ATG Activator

Fingers wrapped—hand in hand—

like a double helix winding

DNA strands, codon rings

emanating, 

here’s the key to your dreams.

Patience settles

inspiration flows

to what anticipation already knows.

[Because the muse

doesn’t wait—

she expands,

creates,

shapes pictures in the dark

and molds silence into gifts.

And wrath—

is not a sin

when it flows with truth

wading through the rough waters

for what desire remembers

before it was taught to behave]

And while the James Webb Space Telescope

searches for the beginning of time,

I already know what’s mine.

I don’t need a lens

to believe 

I see stardust in your eyes.

The Weight of Choking

To spend so long being strong

I break to the

sound 

the sniff

the touch

your taste

your laugh 

your love

I choke. 

You’re gone. 

My act is up. 

Weakness exposed. 

Our love too big to wear

I choke 

to say you’re gone

I choke and

I take another breath

I choke

and I take another step 

From Washington St

Like most mornings, we’d watch the sunrise without you.

Gazing at the water tower

our hearts decided to meet

and for a while, your eyes met us in the morning

same as the spectacle and wonder of the ever-consistent

but always elusive

sunrise

is the only way I know how to describe

how my heart believes

through the death of each night

we will wait to watch you rise

Shadow Muse

For all the darkness you bared witness to

on my behalf

let me just say

what an honor it was to cocreate

with a moon maiden 

who runs from the sun

and uses shadows as her muse

for I am darkness

digging out a grave

while you feed me with a gaze

with your feet on the edge, careful to not fall into the void

of my broken spirit

dusting breadcrumbs and

chaos sprinkles

willfully burying our next life

and creating tricks 

with all your fanciful lies.